Thanks Given

I started to write this at home...figured it was quite appropriate to keep with my Friday morning tradition of blogging but being able to write while I was still stateside. Somehow though my thoughts weren't corherent and I couldn't quite nail down how I was feeling while I was in the middle of the rush of the week. So, now I am back in Jerusalem, still waiting for the jet lag to kick in, having a break in my first day back at school and I am finally going to put down some thoughts.

My friend Kristen sent out a myspace posting on Thanksgiving called Thanks Given. I thought it was completely appropriate and catchy to write on the same thoughts. Afterall, if I can say anything about what my time at home this past week meant...in order to be there, be with people and just feel tastes of the life I am so far away from, I arrive back in Jerusalem with nothing but thanks given. I dont think it is possible to put into words the feeling of complete separation from the people and places you care so much about met with instant imersion into that place with just moments to soak up and enjoy.

From the moment I met my mom and sister at the airport, to arriving on good 'ol Heneson Garth for catch up and Ashley Way for football, I instantly felt the time that had passed, while also feeling that being back in these places causes me to feel like I never left...the best possible scenario for my being in so many new surroundings with so many new daily challenges in Jerusalem. But, it wasn't just my homecoming that caused for such a feeling of celebration. I chose the best week possible to come home...a week of two weddings celebrations, a CD release party and, ofcourse, the one holiday meant solely for eating with friends and family that is not a Jewish holiday. I even welcomed the wreaths hanging in the parking lots and the christmas music that usually drives me crazy...all of these things felt like home.

The questions come faster than I can conjur up answers. Before my arrival home I was worried about how to portray my experience thus far both with honesty and candor but also with my new found voice as someone who is actually living here, in Israel. I found myself saying that I am more sure of what I want to do, although more confused by the day to day process I am going through. Life in Israel is difficult. There are no Sundays to sit back and watch football...Sunday is the new Monday and we all go to school and work. Even Shabbat has its pressure to figure out where you are spending your 'Shabbas time' and when you will fit in the homework that seems to pile up throughout the week. Thoughts of my return to the States, though exciting, are bittersweet because I will again make a big move, rather than just returning to the places I already call home. Still, I found myself happy to be where I am and even more happy to, even if for just a brief time, be in the company of my friends.

Considering my friends, and the theme of Thanks Given...and having had so many people this week tell me how they are on this journey with me, through these pieces I write and pictures I send, then perhaps it is time to give thanks directly. To each of you I spent time with this week. I can never express to you what it means to have been able to dance, to catch up one on one, to sit with the bride while getting hair and make-up touched up, to drink mimosas, to couchtime with family, to couch time with friends, to reminiscing, to telling new tales, to taking pictures and to just being together. ITs funny how time passes and yet stands still. Every day I am here I think of the love from home that I am blessed with. Coming home at my middle point for this year was something I anticipated and worried may interfere with this process I am supposidly undergoing. I could not have been more wrong. All the hugs, kisses and everythin I just mentioned fill me up...they fuel me...and they remind me why I am here and why I am doing this. Every day here is a challenge and the rewards for the beginning of this rabbinic training are often few and far between. The true reward is knowing the people who push me to be here...who remind me I can do it and who remind me where I want to be when I finally have a choice of where I can be.

Leaving was hard...and I definitely shed a few tears...but arriving back was better than I had expected. I chose to miss one final class...an evening program...and meet some friends for a homecooked meal and a couple of drinks that the bar that has become my 8 x 10 in Jerusalem. I shared stories and picture with the people that I may not have the same history with, but I am sharing my time here with and becoming close with every day passed. They want to know everything about the CD release party, the weddings, the individuals I was so excited to see and the unexpected surprises that came up along the way...and it felt good to be back...though so sad to leave.

Before I decided to come home I thought about whether I would be able to deal emotionally with coming home and having to come back for another 6 months. I know it is going to take a few days to get adjusted. I know how good it felt to taste home...but I come back just thankful for the time I had...the moments I was able to be home to share...and I regain my feeling of purpose and focus for my time here...knowing all along the way...there is no place like home and I am the luckiest girl in the world to be blessed with the friends and family...and music...that I have in my life...

Happy Thanks Given...
Jessy